no picture today

wednesday again.

last night was tough. i slept on the bed next to isis. not cause we were cuddling and happy. i wanted to keep my eye on her. i got very little sleep. at 3:00 i changed her blankets (those big diaper like blankets) and then she dry heaved. i was up for a while. she was sort of awake sort of not. she was the same way when i got up at 6:00. so i called angell and the guy who answered the phone told me to bring her in. but since he doesn't know her, i waited for my doctor to call me back. she wasn't too worried but said i could being her in for a day of observation. i was scared about leaving her alone all day.

isis perked up a little in the car. the doctor who checked her in wasn't too worried either. then this afternoon i got a call from the doctor who said her red blood cell count had dropped significantly from when she was checked out last night. the best thing to do was a transfusion.

i agnonized about whether this was the right thing to do. she has been in the hospital for a week. i don't want her to suffer. i really thought that bringing her home was going to be the miraculous thing she's been needing to get all better. all i want is for her to feel okay again. and if that isn't possible, i want to know now so i can stop putting her through so much.

all three of her doctors told me that the transfusion was the right thing to do. i went to visit her after work. she didn't look great so i didn't take a picture. i'm not taking any more of her while she is sick because i don't want to remember her like that. they want to send her home tomorrow but i don't want her to be alone while i am at work on friday. so i'm going to have her stay an extra day to be safe.